Think it was a month ago, when I received the notice for a make-up ICT. Here I mean in-camp training not Information and Communication Technology. Then it dawn on me that I have not cleared my IPPT. I book one session in Toa Payoh Safra gym and started training. I was not confident of getting silver standard due to certain health factors and laziness to train hard while studying. The day came for my IPPT which is today. The static station which I am not confident are standing broad jump and chin-up. The phobia of hurting my back keep coming to my mind. This is the first time I believe that event in life will left an imprint in our mind affect our mental health psychologically. Maybe the consistent training pay off, I pass my two static station and was heading for a pass. Then here came the 2.4km on treadmill. As it was my first time running on treadmill, I was told to do an orientation run for around 2-3min, wasting my leg strength. It was a weird feeling running on treadmill, I have to keep adjusting my body to prevent myself from knocking to the control as I tend to go forward with every step. Finally when i clear 4 lap, my body starts to act weirdly. I keep shifting my body to ensure I am in balance, stitch starts to gie me pain. My brain tells me I am feeling uncomfortable and in pain, my mind says a bit more and I going to get through. Blank and a momment of blackout, my brain not processing I lost balance and fell off the treadmill. Others either slow down or stop on own accord, yet I fell off and got disqualified. Will treadmill become a new phobia??? I think I should go run treadmill in gym and run on road to let my body get used to it. Nearly pass and clear IPPT for the year. I think I am the only idiot who fail beacuse of falling off treadmill.( ^^;;;)
My life is going on as usual after knowing my father had cataracts, eye disease which is quite comon among elderly. The event led me to realize that my parents had aged and I have grown till an age that is suitable to take over the household. I question my abilities and whether am I prepared or not. The string of thought led on to whether my sense of judgement is good or bad and this jot my memories of the past. An incident stood clearly among the rest. The incident happen while i was primary one, I nearly get scolded by my teacher. Back in those days, one has to keep well away from the teachers and make sure one nevers get any scoldings. The class is supposed to hand in an English worksheet and one of my group mate, coincidentally the group leader, borrowed my worksheet to have a look. Being young and gullible, I thought that I have to be helpful so I readily lend my worksheet to the group leader, you all can suspect that I am trying to curry favour of my group leader(^-^). This is the prelude and here comes the nightmare, the teacher found that there is a shortfall in worksheet, meaning got students never hand in the worksheet. Dear detectives, maybe you all already know that the culprit or poor soul is me. Imagine the young boy, fearful and nervous, walking slowly across the classroom to the front. I stood my front and deny the fact that i did not hand in the work and point out a witnesses, my group leader and partner. Due to the long voyage of time, i cannot recall the exact exchange of words. But I saw my worksheet on teacher’s table, the same orange cat that is produced by my wonderful colour pencil, but my name is not on that worksheet. The name that replaces mne is that of my group leader. Luckily for me, I used to write with lots of strength, thus i usually leave and imprint on the front and back of the paper. Even the pencil mark is erased, the imprint still shows my name. Phew. But this small incident taught me the first lesson, not to trust easily, as this will give others a chance to utilise my gullibility. It is not the fault of people to take advantage of you, it is your own fault to create chances to entice or to led people to utilise that chances to harm yourself. Thus in my young mind, i tell myself i will protect my self aka I shall cover my backside and not let others stab me easily. Of course lah, my defense is not built up in a day, it is a gradual progress of rebuilding and refining of the mind. Even though, the incident has happened eons ago but this is my first wonderful lesson on human personality. One will protect themselves from harm at all cost, even at the expense of other trusting souls. Dun blame me for the twisted personality that i may have now, hahahaha, blame it on the harmful marks left by the past. (^^;)
Several years ago, many friends started to blog but I never thought that I will ever start my own blog. The thought of blogging pops in my head several time but procrastination sets in to push off the sparks. Laziness is the root of procrastination. Nevertheless, I register for a blog. Guess what? The driving force is beacuse my blog will be assessed for one of my coursework. Sounds funny? Now the thing that nags my mind is to just blog for assessment or to blog for interest or to use the blog as a site to vent some frustration or to just write about some events in my short life that gave me many joyful and painful experiences.